Relationships

- My boyfriend thinks I'm beautiful

- Well they do say that love is blind!

I can't understand why people say my girlfriend's legs look like matchsticks. They do look like sticks - but they certainly don't match.

Two teenage boys were talking in the classroom. One said, 'I took my girlfriend to see 'The bride of Dracula' last night.'
'Oh yeah,' said the other, 'what was she like?'
'Well she was about six foot six, white as a ghost and she had big red staring eyes and fangs.'
The other said, 'Yes, but what was 'The Bride of Dracula' like?'

Julie had broken off her engagement. Her friend asked her what had happened. 'I thought it was love at first sight,' said Julie.
'It was, but it was the second and third sights that changed my mind.'

- Girlfriend: Will you love me when I'm old and fat and ugly?

- Boyfriend: Of course I do!

- Fred keeps telling me that he's going to marry the most beautiful girl in the world.

- Oh, what a shame! And you've been engaged for such a long time!

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

"I see the baby's nose is running again," said a worried father.
"For goodness sake!" snapped his wife. "Can't you think of anything other than horse racing?"

What did the boy banana say to the girl banana?
→ "You have a lot of appeal."

A husband suspects his wife is having an affair with a pilot, but she keeps denying it--until finally the husband just knew when his wife said:

"Honey, I've told you once, I've told you twice, I've told you niner thousand times, negative on the affair ..."