Police Jokes

- Policeman: I've had my eye on you for some time now.

- Young Lady: That's funny. I thought you were arresting me for speeding.

- Policeman: I suppose you're going to tell me you weren't speeding.

- Motorist: I was speeding all right, but I was testing you to see if you were paying attention.

- Policeman: How can you say you don't have any outstanding tickets?

- Driver: They're all in the glove compartment.

- Policeman: How can you drive so recklessly?

- Driver: I have to, this is a getaway car.

- Policeman: Do you know how fast you were going?

- Motorist: No, you're the one with the radar.

- Policeman: Didn't you see the signs with the speed limit?

- Driver: I thought they were just suggestions.

- Policeman: Didn't you see that stop sign?

- Driver: I keep my eyes closed in traffic.

- Policeman: Didn't you see my lights flashing?

- Motorist: No, I was going faster than the speed of light.

- Policeman: Didn't you hear my siren?

- Motorist: Sure, that's why I sped up.

- Policeman: Didn't you hear me whistle at you?

- Woman Driver: Sure, but I don't flirt when I drive.