Ouch

Why do farts smell?
→ So deaf people can enjoy them too.

What is the definition of Agony?
→ A one-armed man hanging off a cliff with itchy balls.

Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
→ To get to the second hand shop.

What's blue and sings alone?
→ Dan Ackroyd.

Did you hear about the queer deaf mute?
→ Neither did he.

Why does Helen Keller wear tight pants?
→ So people can read her lips.

La Machine....vegetables...vvrrrrr...

La Machine....fruits...vvrrrrr...

La Machine....little children...

No mommy, No!...vvrrrrr...

La Machine.

When is it OK for a lady to slap a midget?
→ When they are slow dancing and he tells her how nice her hair smells.

Mommy, mommy: can I play with grandma?
→ Shut up kid, you dug her up twice last weeek!

Mommy, mommy: I hate daddy's guts.
→ Shut up kid and keep eating.

Did you hear that Oprah Winfrey was arrested at the airport for drug smuggling?
→ It seems she bent over and someone saw fifty pounds of crack....