Ouch

What happened when the cannibals ate a comedian?
→ They had a feast of fun.

How can you help a starving cannibal?
→ Give him a helping hand.

What do you call a man with a double decker bus on his head?
→ The deceased!

What do you call a bloke with a bus on his head?
→ Dead.

How was the hamburger murdered?
→ First it was 'rolled,' then smothered in onions

- Mummy Monster: What are you doing with that saw and where's your little brother?

- Young Monster: Hee, hee! He's my half-brother now!

- My brother's just opened a shop.

- Really? How's he doing?

- Six months. He opened it with a crowbar.

How do you electrocute a blonde?
→ Tell her to demonstrate the proper usage of an electric chair.

What do you call a blonde sky diving team?
→ A new version of the lawn dart's game.

How do you drown a blonde?
→ When he asks for a lifesaver, ask him what flavor he wants.