Men Jokes

How do you scare a man?
→ Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.

There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men:

"don't" and "stop".

Men are like animals: messy, insensitive and potentially violent, but they make great pets.

There are a lot of words you can use to describe men: strong, caring, loving.
They'd be wrong, but you could still use them.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Why do little boys whine?
→ Because they're practicing to be men.

Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her." "But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you." "But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."

What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his brainpower?
→ A widower.

What do you do if your boyfriend walks out?
→ Close the door.

How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
→ Both of them.