Medicine

A man leaned toward an attractive woman at a bar and told her, "Haven't I seen you somewhere before?"

"Yes," she replied in a loud voice, "I'm the receptionist at the V.D. clinic."

Did you hear that they are going to stop circumcising men?
→ They discovered they were throwing away the best part.

Why are some men uncircumcised?
→ The doctors were afraid of causing brain damage to the infant.

What do you call a man with 99% of his brain missing?
→ Castrated.

Why don't men get hemorrhoids?
→ Because they are all perfect assholes!

Why do men snore?
→ When they fall asleep, their balls cover their assholes and they vapor lock.

Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?
→ When it's time to go back to childhood, he's already there.

What is the difference between a man and childbirth?
→ One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby.

If men had PMS, what would happen?
a) The federal government would allocate funds to study it.
b) Cramps would become an acceptable reason to apply for permanent disability.
c) There would be a federal holiday every 28 days.
d) All of the above.

Where do you have to go to find a man who is truly into commitment?
→ A mental hospital.