Medicine

- Doctor, Doctor I'm becoming invisible.

- Yes I can see you're not all there!

- Doctor, Doctor I've just swallowed a pen

- Well sit down and write your name!

- Doctor, doctor my baby's swallowed a bullet

- Well don't point him at anyone until I get there!

- Doctor, Doctor I snore so loud I keep myself awake

- Sleep in another room then!

- Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains

- Well pull yourself together then

- Doctor, Doctor My little boy has just swallowed a roll of film!

- Hmmmm. Let's hope nothing develops.

- Doctor Doctor I feel like biscuits!

- What, you mean those square ones?

- Yes!

- The ones you put butter on?

- Yes!

- Oh, You're Crackers!

- Doctor, Doctor When I press with my finger here... it hurts, and here... it hurts, and here... and here... What do you think is wrong with me?

- You have a broken finger!

- Doctor, Doctor When I press with my finger here... it hurts, and here... it hurts, and here... and here... What do you think is wrong with me?

- You have a broken finger!

- Doctor, Doctor I dream there are monsters under my bed, what can I do?

- Saw the legs off of your bed!