Lawyer Jokes

What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a dishonest lawyer?
→ Chelsea Clinton

- Prosecutor: Mr. Clinton, did you have an improper relationship with Monica Lewinsky?

- Pres: Improper? ... Ain't nothing improper about that. That was one of the the sweetest interns I've ever had.

If called to testify in a trial how long will it before before Clinton commits perjury?
→ When he's sworn in.

Why can't Bill Clinton file a defamation of character suit against his critics?
→ Because Bill Clinton has no character to defame.

Why is Chelsea Clinton a miracle child?
→ Because lawyers use their personalities for birth control.

What famouse Arkansas State Supreme Court decision is Hilary Clinton famous for?
→ If you divorce your wife in Arkansas, is she still your cousin?

What do you get when you cross a crooked lawyer with a crooked politician?
→ Chelsea.

- Policeman: Why were you speeding?

- Driver: I didn't want to be late for my trial.

An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel. The investment banker began to interview young lawyers.

"As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question." She leaned forward. "Mr. Mayberry, are you an honest lawyer?"

"Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I'm so honest that my father lent me $15,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case."

"Impressive. And what sort of case was that?" asked the investment counselor.

The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted, "He sued me for the money."

Why was the cannibal fined by the judge?
→ He was caught poaching.