Kids Jokes

How did Dr Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?
→ On a piece rate.

Why did Frankenstein squeeze his girlfriend to death?
→ He had a crush on her.

- Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?

- Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!

Why are diapers like $10 bills?
→ Because you have to change them.

What kind of money do monsters use?
→ Weirdo (weird dough).

- Visitor: You're very quiet, Jennifer.

- Jennifer: Well, my mum gave me a dollar not to say anything about your red nose.

A little monster was learning to play the violin, 'I'm good, aren't I?' he asked his big brother.

'You should be on the radio,' said his brother.

'You think I'm that good?'

'No, I think you're terrible, but if you were on the radio, I could switch you off!'

Johnny collected lots of money from trick or treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate.

'You should give that money to charity,' said the shopkeeper.

'No, I'll buy the chocolate. You give the money to charity!'

- William: May I have some money for the man crying outside?

- Mum: What crying man?

- William: The one that's crying, 'Ice cream! Ice Cream!'

Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad asked him why.

'I've lost five cents,' sobbed Johnny.

'Don't worry,' said his dad kindly. 'Here's five more for you.'

At this Johnny howled louder than ever.

'Now what is it?' asked his dad.

'I wish I'd said I'd lost ten cents!'