Food Jokes

Why did the monster put the cake in the freezer?
→ Because he had been told to ice it.

What does the hungry monster get after he's eaten too much ice cream?
→ More ice cream!

Could you kill a monster just by throwing eggs at him?
→ Of course - he'd be eggs-terminated.

What do you get if you cross a plum with a man eating monster?
→ A purple people eater.

How can you get rich by eating?
→ Eat fortune cookies.

Why is money called dough?
→ Because we all knead it.

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start.

So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake.

I feel better already.

Men are like chocolate bars.
Sweet, smooth and they usually head right for your hips.

Wanting to lose weight, a woman placed a picture of a shapely, pinup model in her refrigerator to remind her of her goal.
The reminder worked like a charm as the woman discovered that she had lost ten pounds in the first month of using this method.
The downside to this was that her husband spent so much time going into the fridge to look at the picture that he ended up gaining fifteen pounds.

Why are lifesavers better than men?
→ They come in five flavors.