Food Jokes

Why did the pig join a muscle-building class?
→ He thought "pumping iron" was a new juice dispenser.

What soft drink do pigs like best?
→ Root beer.

What kind of bread do pig ladles make in the Yukon?
→ Sow-r dough bread.

What do you call a pig with no clothes on?
→ Streaky bacon!

What do pigs like with chow mein?
→ Sooey sauce.

There was an old man whose family could no longer afford to take care of him. So the family decided that a nursing for the aged would be appropriate.

Of course the old man rejected the idea, but no sooner he was convinced that it was the right thing to do. On his first day at the home, he spent most of his time laying in bed reflecting on life, feeling lonely. A while later, an orderly stopped by to see how the old man's first day was going.

"How you doing today?", she said to the old man, "First day I see".
The Old man replied with a nod.

In no time the two began talking up a storm. As the conversation began to drag on, the orderly was eyeing the room filled with fresh flowers, cards and balloons from friends and relatives. She noticed a bowl full of peanuts sitting on top of the table next to the bed, and help herself to a handful.

As the two continued to converse with each other, the orderly kept eating more helpings of the peanuts. She look at her watch and noticed that nearly 2 hours had passed and said, "My goodness, the time has gone by quickly. I have to tend to other people here too." "That's okay.", said the old man, "I feel so much better being able to talk to someone." Looking into the bowl the orderly said, "I feel awful! I ate almost all of your peanuts!"
The old man responded, "That's okay. Ever since I got these false teeth, all I could do was suck the chocolate off of them anyhow."

A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife.
The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap.

The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn't have to split theirs.

The old gentleman said, "Oh no. We've been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50."

The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied, "It's his turn with the teeth."

What's musical and holds gallons and gallons of beer?
→ A barrel organ.

What is musical and handy in the supermarket.
→ A Chopin Lizst.

What's musical and handy in a supermarket?
→ A Chopin Liszt.