Random joke from this category
A guy walks into a local pharmacy and walks up to the counter where a lady pharmacist is filling prescriptions. When she finally gets around to helping him he says:
- I'd like 99 condoms please.
With a surprised look on her face the pharmacist says:
- 99 Condoms!?! Fuck me!
To which the guy replies:
- Make it 100.
A man walks into a pharmacy and asks for a pack of condoms. As soon as he has paid for them, he starts laughing and walks out.
The next day, the same performance, with the man walking out laughing fit to bust. The pharmacist thinks this odd and asks his assistant that, if the man returns, to follow him.
Sure enough, he comes into the store the next day, repeating his actions once more. The assistant duly follows. Half an hour later, he returns.
- So did you follow him?
- I did.
- And...where did he go?
- Over to your house!
A woman walks into the local pharmacy and ask's to see sanitary napkins.
The pharmacist replies:
- We have mini-pads and maxi-pads, which do you prefer?
The woman asks:
- What's the difference?
Pharmacist replies:
- It depends on what you flow is like!
Woman replies:
- My flo? My flo is linoleum!
- When a customer comes into the shop, be very polite to them and try to put a little poetry into it when you're talking to them.
The youth says that he does not see what the pharmacist means by this, so the pharmacist says that he should observe when the next customer comes in and watch how he or she is dealt with.
Presently a middle aged woman comes in to the shop and asks for something for a tummy bug.
The pharmacist says:
- There's a lot of that virus going about, but this pink mixture should sort you out!
- Oh thank you very much! - says the middle aged woman and she leaves the shop.
So the pharmacist says the youth can serve the next customer while he goes to tea break:
- And remember to put some poetry into it - he says.
Anyway, the youth waits around and nobody comes in, so he decides to go to the restroom. Just as he's about to nip off, a young teenage girl comes in.
- Can I help you? - he asks.
She replies very embarrassedly that she would like to buy some sanitary towels, to which the youth replies:
- Hang on Miss, I'm dying for a piss, but I'll be back in a flash, with a sash for your gash!
A duck walks into a drugstore and says to the pharmacist:
- Gimme a chap stick.
The pharmacist asks the duck:
- Will that be cash or charge?
The duck replies:
- Just put it on my bill.
The next day, the duck goes back to the drugstore and says to the clerk:
- Give me a box of condoms.
The clerk says:
- Do you want me to also put them on your bill?
The duck says:
- Hell no, I'm not that kind of duck!
There was an old lady who heard you could keep cigarettes dry at the beach by stuffing the pack into a condom. She stopped into the pharmacy to pick some up.
The pharmacist said:
- What brand of condoms to you prefer ma'am.
She said:
- I'm not sure, they're for my Camels, at which point he fainted.
This guy goes to the pharmacist and says:
- Listen, these two girls are coming to my place for the weekend and they are hot, very hot. Would you have something to get me going all night. It is going to be a hell of a party.
The pharmacist goes in the back room, comes back with an old dusty bottle and says:
- This stuff is very potent, you drink only one ounce of it and I guarantee that you will be doing the wild thing all night. Let me know about it.
The weekend goes by and on Monday morning, the pharmacist is going to work and at the door of the drug store, the same fellow is there waiting for him. The pharmacist says:
- What are you doing here so early? How was your weekend?
The guy replies:
- Quick open the store, I need Blue Ice (a pain muscle reliever).
The pharmacist, knowing what the guy had been doing all weekend, says:
- Are you crazy, you can't put that on your penis. The skin is way too sensitive.
The guy says:
- It's not for my penis, it's for my arm.
Pharmacist says:
- What?? What happened?
Guy replies:
- Well... I drank the whole bottle of your potion.
Pharmacist says:
- And...
Guy replies:
- The girls never showed up!
A man walks into a pharmacy and goes to the counter. Standing behind the counter is a young woman.
- May I speak to the pharmacist? - he asks.
- Well - she replies - I am the pharmacist.
He looks very uncomfortable, and asks for a male pharmacist, as he has a "male problem."
She informs him that only she and her sister work at this particular establishment.
He blushes and says:
- Well, I really do need help, so I guess I'll ask you... I have a problem. I have a constant erection, and nothing I do seems to get rid of it. It's been like this for three months now. Can you give me anything for it?
The woman looks thoughtful, and says:
- Hold on, I'll go in back and ask my sister.
After a couple of minutes she returns and says:
- We'll give you half of the business and it's profits, but that's all we can give you for it...
Outside a pharmacy in a busy street, a poor man is clutching onto a pole for dear life - not breathing, not moving, not twitching a muscle - just standing there, frozen.
The pharmacist, seeing this strange sight in front of his shop, goes up to his assistant and asks:
- What's the matter with that guy? Wasn't he in here earlier?
Assistant replies:
- Yes he was. He had the most terrible cough and none of my prescriptions seemed to help.
Pharmacist says:
- He seems to be fine now.
Assistant replies:
- Sure, he is. I gave him a box of the strongest laxatives on the market... Now he won't dare cough!
Two proctologists are discussing their most baffling cases.
One proctologist tells the other one about the time he put his hand into a patient and pulled out a large bouquet of flowers.
The other proctologist looked really amazed and asked:
- Where did those flowers come from?
The other proctologist answered very cooly:
- How should I know. There wasn't any card!!
