Dirty Jokes

Why is urine yellow and sperm white?
→ So men can tell if they are coming or going.

Billy was 14 and just started jerkin off. He loved to jerk off. However, one day, his dad walked in on him while he was jerkin off! Billy was so embarrassed. He pulled up his pants as quick as he could. But, his dad already seen him.

- Billy, doing that will make you go blind

- Dad, I'm over here!

What's the ultimate rejection?
→ When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.

What do most men think Mutual Orgasm is?
→ An insurance company.

What the best way to get a guy to stop smoking after sex?
→ Fill his water bed with gasoline.

Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
→ Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Why do men name their penis?
→ They like to be on a first name basis with the one making most of their decisions.

Why do men name their penises?
→ Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the person who makes all their decisions.

Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tales begins.

The first says:

- I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground, by the horns, with my bare hands.

The second can't stand to be bested:

- Why that's nothing. I was walking down the trail yesterday and a fifteen foot rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands, bit its head off, and sucked the venom down in one gulp. And I'm still here today.

The third cowboy remained silent, slowly stirring the coals with his penis.

How can you tell if a man is sexually exited?
→ He's Breathing.