Dirty Jokes

How is a woman like a condom?
→ Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

Why do hunters make the best lovers?
→ Because they go deep in the bush, shoot more than once and they eat what they shoot.

Whats the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
→ Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
→ Slow down and use a lubricant.

What is the definition of 'making love'?
→ Something a woman does while a guy is f***ing her.

How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex?
→ Phone her.

If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
→ The swallow.

Why did God create women?
→ To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.

Why is Viagra like Disneyworld?
→ You have to wait an hour for a three minute ride

Did you ever blow bubbles as a child? Yeh, well he's back in town and wants your new number.