Dirty Jokes

What do hookers do on their night off?
→ Type.

I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."

Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman.

Why is sex like a game of bridge?
→ You don't need a partner if you have a good hand.

Why are condoms like cameras?
→ They both capture the moment.

- Wife: Why don't you ever call out my name when we're making love?

- Husband: Because I don't want to wake you.

If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all.

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

You know the worst thing about oral sex? The view.

I love the lines men use to get us into bed.
"Please, I'll only put it in for a minute." What am I, a microwave?