Celebrities

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new car?
→ Neither has he.

What can Calista Flockhart do with dental floss?
→ Hang herself.

Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men??
→ He thought it was a delivery service.

What's the first problem the MJ's child will have in life?
→ Figuring out which parent is his mother.

What would Elvis be doing if he were alive today?
→ Scratching like hell to get out of that box.

What's the new documentary about Madonna going to be called?
→ Missionary Position Impossible.

What does Kurt Cobain and Michaelangelo have in common?
→ They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

What did Marv Albert do after NBC gave him the pink slip?
→ He put it on.

Did you hear that Ellen Degeneres has a new line of sneakers "coming out"?
→ They're called "dykeees". They have a longer than normal tongue and you can get them off with one finger!

What's the difference between Madonna and the Panama Canal?
→ Well, you see, the Panama canal is a busy ditch...