Celebrities

How can you tell when Bill Clinton is lying?
→ Only a Bill Clinton supporter is too dumb to know the answer to this one.

How did Bill and Hillary Clinton meet?
→ They were dating the same girl in high school.

Bill Clinton and Al Gore go into a local diner for lunch.
As they read the menu the waitress comes over and askes Clinton, "Are you ready to order?"
Clinton replies, "Yes, I'd like a quickie."
"A quickie?!?" the waitress replies. "Sir, given the current situation of your personal life I don't think that is a good idea.
I'll come back when you are ready to order from the menu."
She walks away.
Gore leans over to Clinton and says, "It's pronounced Quiche."

What does Teddy Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wishes he did?
→ A dead girlfriend.

What were Bill and Chelsea Clinton doing in the voting booth?
→ Bill was giving his daughter a lesson in Civics, how to ruin the people!

Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year?
→ Because they can't afford any more pork.

Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year?
→ Because they're sending their turkey to the White House!

How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ He doesn't! He whines a while, says "I feel your pain", and gets congress to pass a billion dollar light security bill, and blames Republicans and special interests for not making lightbulbs free.

How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ None--He'll only promise "change."

How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Two--One to promise he'll do it better than anyone else and one to obscure the issues.