- Look at me. - an elderly Yuppie boasted to his guests at his birthday bash.
- I've aged like a fine old carefully stored wine.
- I certainly have to agree with that. - piped-up his obviously long suffering wife.
- Henry's cork's been stationary for years.
An old man goes to the doctor and says:
- Dr., I don't know what's wrong with me. My dick is orange.
The Dr. tells him to pull down his pants and let him take a look. He has no idea what is wrong so he asks the guy if he has recently painted anything orange.
The old man said:
- No.
The Dr. thinks for a minute and then asks the guy if he has recently been exposed to any chemicals at work.
The old man said:
- No, I'm retired.
The Dr. then asks the guy if he could have been working with any chemicals in his garage.
The old man replied:
- No Dr., I told you, I'm retired. All I do is sit around all day, watch pornos and eat Cheetos...
An elderly woman entered a large furniture store and was greeted by a much younger salesman.
- Is there something in particular I can show you? - he asked.
- Yes, I want to buy a sexual sofa.
- You mean a sectional sofa - he suggested.
- Sectional schmectional. - she bitterly retorted.
- All I want is an occasional piece in the living room!
When should you care for a man's company?
→ When he owns it.
What is defference between man and Superman?
→ Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser.
A woman asks:
- Why don't men get mad cow disease?
Another woman replies:
- Because men are pigs!
What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
→ A rumor
A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall.
He approached a uniformed policeman and said:
- I've lost my dad!
The cop asked:
- What's he like?
The little boy replied:
- Beer and women with big tits.
As a man ages, it is natural that his hair starts thinning.
It is a well-known fact that when a man is bald at the front of his head, it's because he's a great thinker.
Also, when a man is bald at the back of his head, it's because he's sexy.
Unfortunately, when a man is bald both front and back, he only thinks he's sexy...
There was a young man from Kent
Whose tool was exceedingly bent
He put it in double
To save himself trouble
Instead of coming he went
