A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $600.
The doctor exclaimed:
- This is ridiculous! I don't even make that much as a doctor!
The plumber waited for him to finish and then replied:
- Neither did I when I was a doctor!
A 90-year old man announces his intention to marry a woman of 30.
He is persuaded to have a medical exam first:
- Everyone tells me I need a checkup to see if I'm sexually fit - he says to the doctor.
- Okay - says the medic.
- let me see your sex organs.
So the old guy sticks out his tongue and his middle finger.
An extremely old man visits his doctor and tells him:
- I need my sex drive lowered.
The doctor, incredulous, says:
- What?? You want your sex drive lowered??
To which the old man replies:
- It's all in my head; I need it LOWERED!
There was this city doctor who started a practice in the countryside. He once had to go to a farm to attend to a sick farmer who lived there. After a few housecalls he stopped coming to the farm.
The puzzled farmer finally phoned him to ask whats the matter, didn't he like him or somethin'.
The doctor replied:
- No, its your ducks at the entrance... Every time I enter the farm, they insult me!
Two country doctors out in the hills of West Virginia were discussing the population explosion in the world.
One physician says:
- Why, Bubba, thiseyer crazy birth thang isa gettin' so bad that perty soon, they ain't gonna be room for ever'body! There'sa gonna be standin' room only on this here planet!
The other doctor replied:
- Heck, that sure oughta slow 'em down a bit!
A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend on the grounds of his father's house. His father was a successful doctor, and was carrying out a circumcision in the on-site surgery.
As they were walking, they heard a scream and a foreskin flew out of the window and landed at the girl's feet.
- What's this? - she asked.
- Taste it - he replied.
- If you like it, I'll give you a whole one!
Did you hear about the doctor who had his license taken away because he was having affairs with his patients?
→ Yup, it's a shame because he was one of the top veterinarians in the country!
Did you hear about the nurse who swallowed a razor blade?
→ She gave herself a tonsilectomy, an appendectomy, a hysterectomy, and circumcised three of the doctors on her shift!
How do you tell the difference between male chromosomes and female chromosomes?
→ Pull down their genes!
The Vancouver [British Columbia] Sun, Thursday, 18 March 1993, page A13 lead headline "United States"
"Hospital costs prove 40% less in Canada by Daniel Haney, AP Science writer
Washington - Hospitals cost almost 40 per cent more in the United States than in Canada, largely because [...]U.S. hospitals are more expensive, in part, because the cases they treat are 14 percent more complex. [Dr. Donald] Redelmeier, of Wellesley Hospital in Toronto, writing in the New England Journal of Medicine] said this reflects social differences between the two countries."
- Frostbite of the nose is not as expensive to treat as a shotgun wound to the belly - he said.
