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Why did Eve want to move to New York?
→ She fell for the Big Apple!

What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie?
→ Puff pastry!

Why don't apples smile when you go bobbing?
→ Because they're crab apples!

What did the worm want to do when he grew up?
→ He wanted to join the Apple Core (Corps).

What did the apple say to the apple pie?
→ "You've got some crust."

What kind of apple isn't an apple?
→ A pineapple.

What is the left side of an apple?
→ The part that you don't eat.

What kind of apple has a short temper?
→ A crab apple.

Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard?
→ Someone told him he should get an apple Mac

After a minor mathematical error on a routine report, a worker's boss tried to belittle him in front of his peers.
Angrily she asked:

- If you had 4 apples and I asked for one, how many would you have left?

Quickly he replied:

- If it was you who asked, I'd still have 4 apples.

A Pittsburgh steel worker was driving through northern California's apple country.

He stopped at an orchard and asked the owner:

- How much are yer apples?

- All you can pick for one dollar - said the rancher.

- Okay - said the Pennsylvanian.

- I'll take two dollars' worth.

Two girls were having their packed lunch in the school yard. One had an apple and the other said:

- Watch out for worms won't you!

The first one replied:

- why should I? They can watch out for themselves.

- Dad, do you like baked apples?

- Yes son, why?

- The orchard's on fire.

If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do?
→ Keeps everyone away.

How do you make an apple turnover?
→ Push it down hill.

What can a whole apple do that half an apple can't do?
→ It can look round.

Once upon a time there were five apples
Which was the cowboy?
→ None - because they were all redskins.

What is red and goes putt, putt, putt?
→ An outboard apple.

How does an apple a day keep the doctor away?
→ When you take careful aim.

How do you make an apple puff?
→ Chase it round the garden

School lunches are not generally popular with those that have to eat them, and sometimes with good reason.

- What kind of pie do you call this? - asked one schoolboy indignantly.

- What's it taste of? - asked the cook.

- Glue!

- Then it's apple pie, the plum pie tastes of soap.

Fred came rushing in to his Dad.

- Dad! - he puffed:

- is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?

- That's what they say - said his Dad.

- Well, give me an apple quick? I've just broken the doctor's window!

How do you get the most apples at Halloween?
→ Take a snorkel.

Two boys were eating a snack lunch in the school yard. One had an apple and the other said, "Watch out for worms won't you!" The first one replied, "Why should I? They can watch out for themselves."

The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.