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There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

Body-Piercing Barbie ...comes with mini-piercing gun and mini-body ornaments

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

Microsoft Barbie ...

Barbie doll with Bill Gates' head

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

LAPD Barbie ...comes with two nightsticks, in case one gets broken subduing a suspect. Taser also available.

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

Avalanche Barbie ...buried in 16 feet of snow

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

Junkie Barbie ...complete with needle tracks

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

Chain Smoker Barbie ...with Surgeon General's warning on box

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

Mutant Barbie ...

Professor Xavier's daughter: bald as a billiard ball, wearing a Dark Phoenix costume

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

Fast Food Barbie ...also known as McBarbie...you want fries with that?

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

Cyberpunk Barbie ...includes 'trodes and implants

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

Venus de Milo Barbie ...made of rock; no head, no arms

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

Homeless Barbie ...complete with stolen K-Mart shopping cart

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

Grunge Barbie ...with flannel shirt and a goatee

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

Death Row Barbie ...comes complete with cell; raunchy cellmate sold separately

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

Eye Patch Barbie ...with a choice of eye patch colors: purple, hot pink, or aqua!

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

Biker Barbie ...complete with leathers and tattoos

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

Manic-Depressive Barbie ...with a set of Oriental throwing knives

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

Shock Therapy Barbie ...car battery and wires included

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

FrankenBarbie ...comes with bolts through her neck

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

Broken Bungee Barbie ...

Barbie doll lying broken on the pavement

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

Divorce Barbie ...includes the house, the car, and half of Ken's belongings

What happened when the barman died?
→ The police held an inn-quest

An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending so much time at the pub, so one night he took her along.

- What'll ya have? - he asked.

- Oh, I don't know. The same as you, I suppose - she replied.

So the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel's and threw his down in one gulp.
His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spit it out.

- Yuck, that's nasty poison! - she spluttered.

- I don't know how you can drink this stuff!

- Well, there you go - cried the husband.

- And you think I'm out enjoying myself every night!

Where do Martians drink beer?
→ At a mars bar!

How do barmen surf the web?
→ On the Gin-ternet.

Marley stopped at the town barbershop for a haircut. After thirty-five minutes of snipping and cutting, the barber held a mirror behind Marley's head.

- How you like it? - asked the barber.

- Real fine - said the redneck.

- But how 'bout making it a little longer in the back?