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What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot?
→ A bite in shining armor.

Which flavor ice cream is Dracula's favorite?
→ Vein-illa.

Why are vampire families so close?
→ Because blood is thicker than water.

What's a vampire's favorite drink?
→ A Bloody Mary.

Why did the vampire stand at the bus stop with his finger up his nose?
→ He was a ghoulsniffer.

What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail?
→ I don't know but it would slow him down.

What do vampires make sandwiches out of?
→ Self-raising dead.

Why did the vampire go crazy at Burger King?
→ He saw all that catsup and wanted a transfusion.

What do you get if you cross a vampire and a mummy?
→ Something you wouldn't want to unwrap!

What do you get if you cross a vampire and a circus entertainer?
→ Something that goes straight for the juggler!

What do you call a vampire in a raincoat?
→ Mack-u-la!

What do you call a vampire that can lift up cars?
→ Jack-u-la!

What is the best way to talk to a vampire?
→ By long distance.

What does a vampire take for a cold?
→ Coffin syrup!

Did you hear about the vampire in Camelot?
→ He was a bite of the Round Table!

Why is it tough to compete against a vampire?
→ Because they're always out for blood!

Who is a vampire likely to fall in love with?
→ The girl necks door.

What did the vampire do to stop his son biting his nails?
→ He cut all his fingers off!

Did you hear about the doctor who crossed a parrot with a vampire?
→ It bit his neck, sucked his blood, and said, 'Who's a pretty boy then?'!

One vampire to the other: "Let's go and have a drink. I know a cosy little mortuary just round the corner"!

Why was Dracula always willing to help young vampires?
→ Because he liked to see new blood in the business.

What should you do if a vampire borrows your comic?
→ Wait for him to give it back.

What does Dracula say to his victims?
→ It's been nice gnawing you.

What kind of typewriters do vampires like?
→ Blood type-writers.

What type of people do vampires like?
→ Type O positive people.