Latest

How can you tell which Burger Land baseball pitchers are left-handed?
→ They're the one's wearing the left-handed 'meats'!

How are UFO's related to hamburgers?
→ Both are Unidentified Frying Objects!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Brother!

- Brother who?

- Brother-ation, I've forgotten your name!

- Brother: Which is farther away - NY City or the moon?

- Sister: NY City. Why do you ask?

- Brother: Well, I can see the moon, but I can't see NY City.

- Sister: Mom wants you to come in and help fix dinner.

- Brother: Why? Is it broken?

Do robots have sisters?
→ No, just transistors!

My sister wanted to marry a man clever enough to make a lot of money but dumb enough to spend it on her!

How do you know if your little brother is turning into a fridge?
→ See if a little light come on whenever he opens his mouth!

- Mother: Jared, get your little sister's hat out of that puddle.

- Jared: I can't mum, she's got it strapped too tight under her chin!

A little demon came home from school one day and said to his mother:

- I hate my sister's guts.

- All right - said his mother - I won't put them in your sandwiches again.

Why did your sister jump out the window?
→ Because she wanted to try out her new spring suit

- Teacher: What's this a picture of?

- Class: Don't know, Miss.

- Teacher: It's a kangaroo.

- Class: What's a kangaroo, miss?

- Teacher: A kangaroo is a native of Australia.

- Smallest boy: Wow, my sister's married one of them

My sister is so dim she thinks that a cartoon is a song you sing in a car.

Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing.

- Sis - he said - I wish you'd sing Christmas carols.

- That's nice of you, Alfie - she replied.

- Why?

- Then I'd only have to hear you once a year!

- Doctor, Doctor! My sister thinks she's an elevator.

- Tell her to come in.

- I can't. She doesn't stop at this floor.

Why does your sister have yeast and shoe polish for breakfast?
→ Because she wants to rise and shine.

- My sister went on a crash diet.

- Is that why she looks a wreck?

- Do you like my new baby sister?

- The stalk bought her.

- Hmm, it looks as if the stalk dropped her on her head.

- Michael: It's hard for my sister to eat.

- Maureen: Why?

- Michael: She can't bear to stop talking.

- What's your father's occupation? - asked the school secretary on the first day of the new academic year.

- He's a conjurer, Ma'am - said the new boy.

- How interesting. What's his favourite trick?

- He saws people in half.

- Gosh! Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?

- One half brother and two half sisters.

Did the bionic monster have a brother?
→ No, but he had lots of trans-sisters!

- Mummy Monster: What are you doing with that saw and where's your little brother?

- Young Monster: Hee, hee! He's my half-brother now!

- Mum: Why does your little brother jump up and down before taking his medicine?

- Boy: Because he read the label, and it said 'shake well before using.'

- Dad: Don't be selfish. Let your brother use the sled half the time.

- Son: I do, Dad. I use it going down the hill and he gets to use it coming up!

- Little Brother: I'm going to buy a sea horse.

- Big Brother: Why?

- Little Brother: Because I want to play water polo!