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Why was the calf afraid?
→ He was a cow-herd!

Why was the woman arrested on a cattle ranch for wearing a silk dress?
→ She was charged with rustling!

Why don't cows ever have any money?
→ Because the farmers milk them dry!

Why doesn't Sweden export it's cattle?
→ It wants to keep it's Stockholm!

Why do cows think cooks are mean?
→ They whip cream!

Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer?
→ He wanted her to hit the hay!

Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
→ He wanted to see how much the milky weighed!

Why did the farmer put brandy in the cow's food?
→ He wanted to raise stewed beef!

Why did the farmer fence in the bull?
→ The farmer had too much of a steak in him to let him go!

Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
→ He wanted rich milk!

Why did the cow jump over the moon?
→ To get to the Milky Way!

Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone?
→ She thought children should be seen and not herded!

Why did Bossy slug Roy Rogers?
→ She heard he was a cowpuncher!

Why couldn't the cow leave the farm?
→ She was pasteurized!

Why are cows made for dancing?
→ They're all born hoofers!

Where does a cow stop to drink?
→ The milky way!

Where do steers go to dance?
→ To the Meat Ball!

Where do Russian cows come from?
→ Moscow!

Where do milk shakes come from?
→ Nervous cows!

Where do Danish cows come from?
→ Cowpenhagen!

Where do cows like to ride on trains?
→ In the cow-boose.

Where do cows like to live?
→ St. Moo-is.

Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat?
→ To the calf-ateria!

Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
→ In his beef case!

When is a farmer like a magician?
→ When he turns his cow into pasture.