Latest

A shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively:

- Would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?

To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs:

- No, I won't sleep with you tonight!

Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says:

- I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a journalist and I've got an assignment to study how people respond to embarrassing situations.

George W. Bush is seen crossing the Potomac river on foot.

The Washington Post: "President Bush crosses the Potomac River".
The Washington Time: "Bush's conservative approach saves taxpayers a boat".
Mother Jones: "Bush can't swim".

What do internet football fans sing?
→ E we go E we go, E we go!

Who's the chief of the internet?
→ E-ronimo!

Who writes all his plays on the Internet?
→ Will-e. Shakespeare.

Who looks after the EuroDisney website?
→ Mick e-mouse.

Who is the most popular wizard on the Internet?
→ Har e-potter.

Which of the seven dwarfs use the Internet?
→ Happ-e, Sleep-e, Grump-e, Dope-e and Sneez-e.

What has long ears, hops and likes websurfing?
→ The e-aster bunny.

What goes round the middle of the Internet?
→ The e-quator.

What do you get if you cross an elephant with the Internet?
→ I don't know, but it's e-nourmous.

What do you call an Internet mystery?
→ An e-nigma.

What do you call a ghost on the Internet?
→ e-erie.

What do you call a fire at the Internet cafe?
→ An e-mergency.

What did Darth Vader say to the Internet?
→ May the force e-with you.

How do you make rude noises on the Internet?
→ With a whoop e-cushion.

How do you fix a broken website?
→ With stick e-tape.

- Do you like web jokes?

- Yes - they're e-larious!

- Doctor, doctor, should I surf the Internet on an empty stomach?

- No, you should do it on a computer.

- Doctor, doctor, I feel like I'm part of the Internet!

- Well, you do look a site

What do you get if you type www.abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.com into your computer?
→ A sore finger.

- PE Teacher: Why did you kick that ball straight at the school computer?

- Pupil: You told me to put it in the Net.

What sits in the middle of the world wide web?
→ A very, very big spider!

What do you call an alien surfing the Internet?
→ e-t.

- Have you seen www.tame.com?

- Yes, but I'm not wild about it.