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What letter should you avoid?
→ The letter A because it makes men mean.

Which two letters of the alphabet are nothing?
→ MT (empty).

How many letters are there in the alphabet?
→ Eleven. T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Why is the letter N the most powerful letter?
→ Because it is in the middle of TNT.

What word grows smaller when you add two letters to it?
→ Add "er" to short and it becomes shorter.

Where do you put letters to boys?
→ In a mail (male) box.

When is a letter damp?
→ When it has postage due (dew).

What girl's name is like a letter?
→ Kay (K).

What letter is like a vegetable?
→ The letter P.

Why do postmen carry letters?
→ Because the letters can't go anywhere by themselves.

What does an envelope say when you lick it?
→ Nothing. It just shuts up.

Josh sent a letter to his folks. He told about a ten-mile hike he had taken.
His father wrote back saying, "In my day I thought nothing of walking ten miles."
Josh wrote back, "To tell the truth, I didn't think much of it either."

Did you hear about the sister who wrote herself a letter and forgot to sign it and when it arrived she didn't know who it was from.

Why did the witch's mail rattle?
→ It was a chain letter.

Braxton and Hollis had jobs at a California cotton mill. One morning the foreman came along and found Braxton reading a letter to his coworker.

"Hey," cried the foreman, "what kind a horseplay you two guys up to?"

"Hollis got a letter from his girlfriend," explained Braxton, "but he can't read; so Ah'm readin' the letter for him."

"How come you got the cotton in your ears?"

"Hollis don't want me to hear what his girlfriend writ to him!"

What word allows you to take away two letters and get one?
→ Stone.

An Irishman went into a post office to see if there were any letters for him.
"I'll see, sir," said the clerk.
"What is your name?"
"You're having me on now because I'm Irish," said the Irishman.
"Won't you see the name on the envelope?"

An old lady walked in to the post office to buy stamps and as she was short-sighted the clerk offered to stick the stamps on for her.

"Wait a minute," he said, "you've written the address upside down."

"I know," said the little old lady, "the letter is going to Australia."

- 1st vampire: How things?

- 2nd vampire: Terrible! Today I received a letter saying I'm overdrawn by 50 pints at the blood bank.

I got an anonymous letter today.
Oh, really - who was it from?!

- Teacher: Fred, give me a sentence starting with "I."

- Fred: I is . . .

- Teacher: No, Fred. You must always say "I am."

- Fred: Oh, right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

How did skeletons send each other letters in the days of the Wild West?
→ By Bony Express.

Betty was scribbling industriously over some paper with a pencil when her mother asked her what she was drawing.
"I'm not drawing, Mom," she said indignantly, "I'm writing a letter to Fred."
"But you can't write," Mom pointed out.
"That's all right," said Betty, "Fred can't read."

What did the werewolf write at the bottom of the letter?
→ Best vicious . . .

Last night I wrote myself a letter.
But I forgot to sign it and now I don't know who it's from.