Travel Jokes

What's the difference between a teacher and a conductor on the railroad?
→ One trains the mind, the other minds the train.

What do you call a witch who drives really badly?
→ A road hag.

Did you hear about the boy who had to do a project on trains?
→ He had to keep track of everything!

- Monster: I've got to walk 25 miles home.

- Ghost: Why don't you take a train.

- Monster: I did once, but my mother made me give it back.

Why do you have to wait so long for a ghost train to come along?
→ They only run a skeleton service.

Where do ghost trains stop?
→ At devil crossings.

What is evil and ugly and goes at 125 mph?
→ A witch in a high speed train.

What did the monster say when he saw a rush hour train full of passengers?
→ Oh good! A chew chew train!

What's black and white and red all over?
→ A nun in a car accident.

One day a guy was driving with his 4-year-old daughter and beeped his car horn by mistake.

She turned and looked at him for an explanation.

He said, "I did that by accident."

She replied, "I know that, daddy."

He replied, "How'd you know?"

The girl said, "Because you didn't say 'ASSHOLE!' afterwards!"