Travel Jokes

- Police Officer: Why are you driving in a bathing suit?

- Motorist: I'm in a car pool.

- Motorist: Does a deer have a horn?

- Police Officer: No, a deer has two horns.

- Motorist: Then it must have been a car that ran over my uncle.

- Motorist: When I bought this car you told me it was rust-free, but underneath it's covered with rust

- Dealer: Yes, sir. The car is rust-free. We didn't charge you for it, did we?

Which snakes are found on cars?
→ Windscreen vipers.

What's the difference between a schoolteacher and a train driver?
→ A schoolteacher says, "Spit out that toffee" and a train says, "Choo, choo."

Why is it not safe to doze on trains?
→ Because they run over sleepers.

How did the woman feel when she got run over by a car?
→ Tired.

A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside.

"What's going on?" she yells out the window.

"Cow on the track!" replies the conductor.

Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace.

Within five minutes, however, it stops again.

The woman sees the same conductor walk again.

She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?"

A motorist ran into a shop.

"Do you own a black and white cat?" he asked. "No," replied the manager.

"Oh dear," said the motorist, "I must have run over a nun."

- My sister's a really bad driver.

- What makes you say that?

- Every time she goes out in the car, Dad puts a glass panel in the floor so that she can see who she's run over.