Sex Jokes

What's the white stuff you find in the bottom of girls' undies?
→ Clitty litter.

"Do you have any batteries?" a woman asks the hardware store clerk.

"Yes, m'am." The clerk gestures with his finger. "Can you come this way?"

"If I could come that way," the woman says, "I wouldn't need the batteries."

Jessica was toweling off in front of the mirror when she noticed a few gray pubic hairs. She bent down and said to her privates... "I know you haven't been getting much lately...but I didn't know you were so worried about it!"

This male prostitute contracted leprosy.

He did okay for a while, but then his business dropped off.

This male prostitute contracted syphilis.

He did okay for a while, but then his business dropped off.

Definition of bad lover:
An earthquake occurs during sex. Afterwards he asks the woman if she felt the earth move. She says no.

Why is sex like money in the bank?
→ Because when you withdraw, you lose interest.

An old sailor goes to a brothel, where he chooses his girl and begins.

- How am I doing? He asks.

- Three knots, she replies.

- Three knots? What's that mean?

- You're not hard, you're not in, and you're not getting your money back.

How do you know you're leading a sad life?
→ When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends."

A guy approaches a prostitute on the street and asks her, "how much?" she replies, "$100 if I lay down and $75 if I stand up." He asks what the difference is, and she tells him, "it's my hairdresser's fee!"