Random joke from this category
President Dubya was awakened one night by an urgent call from the Pentagon. "Mr. President," said the four-star general, barely able to contain himself, "there's good news & bad news." "Oh, no," muttered the President, "Well, let me have the bad news first." "The bad news, sir, is that we've been invaded by creatures from another planet." "Gosh, and the good news?" "The good news, sir, is that they eat reporters and pee oil."
What do you call an overweight ET?
→ An extra cholesterol!
What do you call an alien starship that drips water?
→ A crying saucer!
Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon?
→ Great food but no atmosphere.
One lab mouse to another:
- I've trained that crazy human at last.
- How have you done that?
- I don't know how, but every time I run through that maze and ring the bell, he gives me a piece of cheese.
What do you get when you put an experimental monkey in a blender?
→ Rhesus Pieces.
What did the dinosaur say when he saw the volcano explode?
→ What a lavaly day!
- Teacher: When do astronauts eat?
- Pupil: At launch time!
A boy frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and his Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog is thrilled, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?"
"No," says his Advisor, "in her biology class."
A biologist was interested in studying how far bullfrogs can jump. He brought a bullfrog into his laboratory, set it down, and commanded, "Jump, frog, jump!"
The frog jumped across the room.
The biologist measured the distance, then noted in his journal, "Frog with four legs jumped eight feet."
Then he cut the frog's front legs off. Again he ordered, "Jump, frog, jump!"
The frog struggled a moment, then jumped a few feet.
After measuring the distance, the biologist noted in his journal, "Frog with two legs jumped three feet."
Next, the biologist cut off the frog's back legs. Once more, he shouted, "Jump, frog, jump!"
The frog just lay there.
"Jump, frog, jump!" the biologist repeated.
Nothing.
The biologist noted in his journal, "Frog with no legs - lost its hearing."
