Science

A small twin-prop commuter plane was hijacked by a desperate animal rights extremist who vowed to kill one of the passengers to demonstrate his serious intentions.
There were two passengers present, a microbiologist and a yeast geneticist.
The hijacker gave each one two minutes to explain why they shouldn't be killed. The microbiologist (who studied bacteria) talked for 1 minute 59 seconds explaining that he studies bacteria, bacteria are model organisms for the study of genetics and physiology etc. etc. and finished with an emotional, bacteria-laden plea which had the hijacker in tears. When he was done, they turned to the yeast geneticist who said, "let me explain to you why yeast genetics is an important discipline..." but he was interrupted by the microbiologist who exclaimed "Shoot me! Shoot me!"

As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the co-pilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system.

"Coming up on the right, you can see the Meteor Crater, which is a major tourist attraction in northern Arizona. It was formed when a lump of nickel and iron, roughly 150 feet in diameter and weighing 300,000 tons, struck the earth at about 40,000 miles an hour, scattering white-hot debris for miles in every direction. The hole measures nearly a mile across and is 570 feet deep."

From the cabin, a passenger was heard to exclaim, "Wow! It just missed the highway!"

During the heat of the space race in the 1960's, the U.S. National Aeronautics and Space Administration decided it needed a ballpoint pen to write in the zero gravity confines of its space capsules. After considerable research and development, the Astronaut Pen was developed at a cost of about $1 million U.S. The pen worked and also enjoyed some modest success as a novelty item back here on Earth. The Soviet Union, faced with the same problem, used a pencil.

Who was the most famous ant scientist?
→ Albert Antstein!

What do you call an ant in space?
→ Cosmonants & Astronants!

A Martian lands to plunder, pillage and burn. He goes up to the owner of the first house he sees and says, "I'm a Martian just arrived from the other side of the galaxy.

We're here to destroy your civilisation, pillage and burn. What do you think about that?"

The owner replies, "I don't have an opinion. I'm a chartered accountant."

If necessity is the mother of invention, why does so much unnecessary stuff get invented?

If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn on your head-lights, what happens?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

If buttered toast always lands buttered side down and a cat always lands on its feet, what would happen if you tied a piece of buttered toast on the back of a cat and dropped it?