School

- Teacher: Give me three reasons why the world is round

- Pupil: Well my dad says so, my mum says so and you say so!

- Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour?

- Pupil: Because it can't sit down!

- Teacher: Where is the English Channel?

- Pupil: I don't know, my TV doesn't pick it up

Laugh and the class laughs with you.
But you get detention alone!

Playing truant from school is like a credit card
Fun now, pay later!

- Be sure that you go straight home after school

- I can't, I live just round the corner!

- The brain is a wonderful thing

- Why do you say that?

- Because it starts working the second you get up in the morning and never stops until you get asked a question in class!

- Teacher: I'd like to go through one whole day without having to tell you off.

- Pupil: You have my permission!

- Teacher: Why didn't you answer me?

- Pupil: I did, I shook my head

- Teacher: You don't expect me to hear it rattling from here do you!

- Our teacher talks to herself does yours?

- Yes, but she does't realise it, she thinks we're actually listening!