Relationships

What do you do if your boyfriend walks out?
→ Close the door.

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift?
→ Exchange him.

How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
→ At the circus the clowns don't talk.

What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
→ E.T. phoned home.

What do you call a man who opens the car door for you?
→ A chauffeur.

How are men like carpet tiles?
→ If you lay them properly the first time around, you can walk all over them for the rest of your life.

How can you tell if a man is cheating on you?
→ He has a bath more than once a month.

How do you lose fourteen stone of fat?
→ Dump him.

What does it mean to come home to a man who'll give you some love and tenderness?
→ You're in the wrong house.

How does a man keep his youth?
→ By giving her money, furs and diamonds.