Redneck Jokes

What is the first thing off the truck at a trailer fire?
→ Lawn chair.

The Arkansas lad was obviously deeply troubled.
"Why so glum, Chum?" asked the kindly stranger.
"If my parents get divorced...will they still be brother and sister?"

Did you hear about the New 3 Million Dollar Alabama State Lottery?
→ 3 dollars a year for a million years.

Why do Southern guys go to family reunions?
→ To meet chicks.

How do you tell if an Arkansas girl is old enough to marry?
→ Make her stand in a barrel. If her chin is over the top, she's old enough.
If it isn't, cut the barrel down a bit.

A hillbilly walked into an attorney's office wanting to file for divorce.

- May I help you?

- Yea, I want to get one of those dayvorces.

- Well do you have any grounds?

- Yea, I got about a hundred acres.

- No, you don't understand, do you have a case?

- No, I don't have a Case, but I have a John Deere.

- I mean, do you have a grudge?

- Yea, I got a grudge. That's where I park my John Deere.

- No sir, I mean do you have a suit?

- Yes sir, I got a suit, I wear it to church on Sundays.

- Well sir, does your wife beat you up or anything?

- No sir, we both get up about 4:30 in the morning.

- Well, is she a nagger or anything?!?!?!?

- No she's a little white gal, but our last child was a nagger. That's why I want this dayvorce.

Ruby Alice walked up to the desk of a Bowling Green motel and signed the register with the letter "O."

"Why'd you put that circle down?" asked the clerk.

"Cause Ah can't write," replied the girl.

"Why don't you sign with an 'X'?" asked the man.

"Ah used to," she answered. "But when Ah got me a divorce, Ah took back mah maiden name!"

What do a hurricane, a tornado, and a redneck divorce all have in common?
→ Someone's going to lose their trailer...

Cloyd went to a Charleston dentist complaining his gums had shriveled up and his teeth were falling out.

After examining him, the dentist said, "Your mouth is really bad. Do you brush?"

"Ah sure do!" replied Cloyd. "Everee single day!"

"What do you brush with?" asked the dentist,

"Preparation H," said the redneck.

Young Vestal was walking in his Florida backyard when an alligator bit him.

"Mama!" yelled the boy. "A gator jus' bit off mah foot!"

"Which one?" called his mother from inside the cabin.

"How the hell should Ah know?!" he shrieked. "They all look alike to me!"