Political Jokes

Did you hear the latest theory about Monica Lewinsky?
→ It may never be proven but they think she may be the youngest woman to have ever held the Presidency.

What has four legs and smells like fish?
→ Clinton's desk.

Why does Bill Clinton wear underwear?
→ To keep his ankles warm.

One gay man says to the other, did you hear Newt Gingrich is coming out?

"Really?" the second gay man says, "that's amazing!"

The first gay man says, "yeah we're lucky, he's only coming out of Congress, would you wanna sleep with him?"

A young, ruthless executive died and went to hell. When he got there, he saw one sign that said Capitalist Hell, and another that said Socialist Hell. In front of the Socialist Hell was an incredibly long line, while there was no-one in front of the Capitalist Hell. So the executive asked the guard, "What do they do to you in Socialist Hell?"

"They boil you in oil, whip you, and then put you on the rack," the guard replied.

- And what do they do to you in Capitalist Hell?

"The same exact thing," the guard answered.

- Then why is everybody in line for Socialist Hell?

- Because in Socialist Hell, they're always out of oil, whips, and racks!

How big is Bill Clinton's Penis?
→ Not as big as Hillary's

At a government affair, the wives of four world leaders are chatting about how people refer to a penis in their countries.

The wife of Tony Blair says in England people call it a gentleman, because it stands up when women are entering.

The wife of Boris Yeltsin says in Russia you call it a patriot, because you never know if it will hit you on the front or on the back side.

The wife of Chirac says in France you call it a curtain, because it goes down after the act.

With great resignation, the wife of Clinton says in the USA you call it a rumor, because it goes from mouth to mouth...

Hillary and Chelsea were having a deep dish heart to heart talk about Chelsea's college experiences.

- Hillary: So have you found dating to be a fulfilling experience?

- Chelsea: It's okay..but i don't like how the boys sometimes act like real sex hounds.

- Hillary: Well, uh, have you, uh, actually had sex?

- Chelsea: Well Mom, no, not IF you define sex the way Daddy does.

Why doesn't Hillary wear short dress?
→ Her balls would show.

What did Clinton say when accused of copying his homework from his girlfriend at Oxford?
→ I did not have textual relations with that woman.