Political Jokes

I want to become a politician when I grow up so I've made a list of skills I want to aquire, but I've only come up with one: Lying.

A reporter heard Bush and one of his underlings talking in the hallway:

- Mr President, how do we know for sure Iraq has weapons of mass destruction?

- Pres: You think we're stupid boy??? We made copies of all the receipts!!

How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?
→ One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.

How many Communists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Two - one to screw it in, and a second to hand out leaflets.
→ One, but it takes him about 30 years to realize that the old one has burnt out.

How many Liberal Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ None. "Well it's not really a question of should we change it or should we not change the lightbulb, but more a question of...(blah blah waffle)"

How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ One liberal and twenty eight delegates representing all the social, economic, and ethnic communities.
→ Two-one to do it and the other to keep the first one's knee from jerking.
→ None: They can't remove the old ones since they are already part of the environment.

How many Labour Party members does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ None. They haven't got a policy on that.

How many MP's does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Twenty-one. One to change it and twenty to form a fact-finding committee to learn more about how it's done.

How many believable, competent, "just right for the job" presidential candidates does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?

How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Four, one to change it and the other three to deny it.