Ouch

What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?
→ "Nice tits!"

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
→ Nothing, you already told her to shut up twice.

How do you babysit black kids?
→ Wet their lips and stick them to the wall!

How do you stop a black kid from jumping on the bed?
→ Put velcro on the ceiling.

How do you get him down?
→ Blind fold two mexican kids and tell them he's a pinata.

What's better than winning the gold medal at the special olympics?
→ Not being retarded!

If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?

You'd make a lovely corpse!

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.

Is that a beard, or are you eating a muskrat?

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?

You're a wit with dunces, and a dunce with wits...huh?

Did you eat a brain tumor for breakfast?

You love nature in spite of what it did to you?

I want to reach your mind - where is it currently located?

I wish I'd known you when you were alive.

If you ever had a bright idea, it would be beginner's luck!

What's on your mind? If you'll forgive the overstatement.

When you go to the mind reader, do you get half price?

I look into your eyes and get the feeling someone else is driving.

You're a mouse studying to be a rat.

Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you.

Every time I'm next to you, I get a fierce desire to be alone.

I can't believe that out of 100,000 sperm, you were the quickest!

If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?

There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.

Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?

You're a good example of why some animals eat their young.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in your refridgerator?
→ CHUCK.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a ditch?
→ Phil.

You're breath's so stinky I don't know whether I should give you a breath mint or toilepaper!

What do you call a dog with no legs?
→ It don't matter what you call him, he ain't commin'!