Ouch

She's so ugly that when a wasp stings her it shuts its eyes.

- Fred: What's that terribly ugly thing on your shoulders?

- Harry: Help! What is it?

- Fred: Your head!

- I'm not ugly. I could marry anyone I pleased!

- But that's the problem - you don't please anyone.

My Mother uses lemon juice for her complexion.

Maybe that is why she always looks so sour.

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -
Frozen Barbie on a Stick ...in your grocer's frozen food section

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -
East German Swim Team Barbie ...a Barbie head on a Ken doll

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -
Hiroshima Barbie ...just a shadow of her former self

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -
Marie Antionette Barbie ...with removable head; guillotine included

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -
Crash Test Barbie ...comes with car and brick wall

Did you hear about the witch who had the ugliest baby in the world?
→ She didn't push the pram - she pulled it.