Mom/Dad Jokes

- Mother: Let me see your report son.

- Son: Here it is, Mother, but don't show it to Dad. He's been helping me!

- Father: You've got 4 D's and a C on your report.

- Son: "Maybe I concentrated too much on the one subject!"

- Father: What did you learn in school today?

- Son: That three and three are seven.

- Father: Three and three are six!

- Son: I guess I didn't learn anything today then!

A father is asked by his friend, "Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?"

"Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector," he replies

To this his friend responds, "Strange ambition to have for a career."

"Well, he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!"

- Mum: Jackie, go outside and play with your whistle. Your father can't read his paper.

- Jackie: Wow, I'm only eight and I can read it

- Mother: What do you mean, the school must be haunted?

- Daughter: Well, the principal kept going on about the school spirit.

- I told you not eat cake before supper.

- But, Mum, it's part of my homework. 'If you take an eighth of a cake from a whole cake, how much is left.

On the first day at school the girls were sizing each other up and boasting, trying to make good impressions on each other.

'I come from a one-parent family,' said one little girl proudly.

'That's nothing. Both my parents remarried after they got divorced. I come from a four parent family!'

'Mum, there's a man at the door collecting for the Old Folk's Home. Shall I give him Grandma?'

John kept pestering his parents to buy a video, but they said they couldn't afford one. So one day John came home clutching a package containing a brand-new video.

'Where in the World did you get the money to pay for that?' asked his father suspiciously.

'It's OK, Dad,' replied John, 'I've traded the TV in for it.'