Medicine

What do you call a depressed dentist?
→ A little down in the mouth.

A lady goes to the dentist. In the chair, the dentist notices a little brown spot on one of her teeth.

"Aha, cavity! I'll have to drill this one out!" says the dentist.

"Oh no, I'd rather have a child!!!" cries the lady.

"In that case, I will have to adjust the chair first" replies the dentist.

- I have some bad news and some very bad news.

- Well, might as well give me the bad news first.

- The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.

- 24 hours! That's terrible! What could be worse? What's the very bad news?

- I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.

- I have some good news and I have some bad news, which shall I tell first?

- Do begin with the bad news, please.

- Alright. Your son has drowned, your daughter has been raped, your wife has divorced you, your house got blown away, and you have AIDS.

- Good grief! What's the good news?

- The good news is that there is no more bad news.

- I have some good news and some bad news, which shall I tell first?

- Uhhh, well, give me the bad news first, I guess.

- You only have one week left to live.

- Oh no! What good news can you possibly tell me now?

- Well, you know that really hot-looking nurse who just came in here? I'm taking her out to dinner tonight, and who knows where the night will end!

This guy goes to the doctor for a checkup, and after some tests, the doctor comes in with a grave look on his face.

- Well, I have some bad news and some really bad news.

- Well, give me the really bad news first.

- You have cancer, and only 6 months to live.

- And the bad news?

- You have Alzheimer's disease.

- Thank God. I was afraid I had cancer!

This old man visits his doctor and after a thorough examination, the doctor tells him, "I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?"

- Well, give me the bad news first.

- You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left.

- OH NO! That's awful! In two years, my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this???

- You also have Alzheimer's... In three months you'll forget everything I told you.

What's the best thing about having Alzheimer's Disease?

1. You can hide your own Easter eggs.
2. You are always meeting new people.
3. You never have to watch reruns on television.

- Did you take the patient's temperature?

- No. Is it missing?

- Nurse, how is that little boy doing, the one who swallowed ten quarters?

- No change yet.