Marriage Jokes

I just had the doctor remove an ugly growth from my back. It was my mother-in-law.

Happiness is defined as opening your refrigerator to find your mother-in-law's picture on the milk carton.

Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
→ Two mother-in-law's!

- Why Steve, you're so depressed today, what's the matter?

- Ah, well, I have had a quarrel with my mother-in-law. She swore to me she wouldn't talk to me for a month!!

- Then so bad about it? You should celebrate the event!!

- No, no, see...that was four weeks ago, and today is the last day...

Sign seen in a small restaurant:

Thanks for visiting. If you liked the food, send your friends. Otherwise, send your mother-in-law.

An elderly woman rushed up the stairs to the church, late for the wedding. An usher asked to see her invitation.

- I don't have one - she said.

- Well then, are you a friend of the groom?

- I should say not - snapped the woman.

- I'm the bride's mother!

A man was traveling down a country road when he saw a large group of people outside a house. He stopped and asked a person why the large crowd was there.

A farmer replied:

- Joe's mule kicked his mother-in-law and she died.

- Well - replied the man.

- she must have had a lot of friends.

- Nope - said the farmer.

- we all just want to buy his mule.

John looked up to see his mother-in-law walking toward the front door carrying a broom. "Tell me," he said to her, "are you going to clean house with it or fly away on it?"

A mother-in-law visits her son-in-law before leaving for a trip. They are sipping coffee and chatting.

Suddenly, mother-in-law looks at the clock and jumps off her chair exclaiming:

- My god! It's already three P.M. I'm about to miss my train!

She begins to put her clothes on in a hurry.

At this moment, the son-in-law's daughter runs up to her and before he can do anything and announces:

- Don't hurry, granny! Daddy moved the clock two hours ahead!

My husband has always taken the time to make love to me in a very romantic atmosphere.

In fact, all our kids were conceived during Miller Lite commercials.