Language Jokes

Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. "I know that smart aleck Tex," said the first. "He's going to start bragging about that new foreign car he bought as soon as he gets back."

"Not Tex," the second cowboy replied. "He'll always be just a good ol' boy. When he walks in, I'm sure all he'll say is hello."

"I know Tex better than either of you," said the third. "He's so smart, he'll figure out a way to do both. Here he comes now." Tex swung open the bunkhouse door and shouted, "Audi, partners!"

- Camper: Look at that bunch of cows.

- Farmer: Not bunch, herd.

- Camper: Heard what?

- Farmer: Of cows.

- Camper: Sure I've heard of cows.

- Farmer: No, I mean a cowherd.

- Camper: So what? I have no secrets from cows!

Why is a burning candle like being thirsty?
→ Because a little water ends both of them!

A man was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked if he had anything to say in his defense. "They shouldn't put up such misleading notices," said the man. "It said FINE FOR PARKING HERE."

When do cannibals cook you?
→ On Fried-days.

- Bus passenger: I'd like a ticket to New York, please.

- Ticket seller: By Buffalo?

- Bus passenger: Of course not, I'm in the bus queue, aren't I?

- Cross-eyed monster: When I grow up I want to be a bus driver.

- Witch: Well, I won't stand in your way.

Can you name two burgers who are royalty?
→ Sir Loin and Burger King!

- Peter: My brother wants to work badly!

- Anita: As I remember, he usually does!

The Long Walk Home by Miss D. Buss