Random joke from this category
George knocked on the door of his friend's house. When his friend's mother answered he asked:
- Can Albert come out to play?
- No - said the mother.
- It's too cold.
- Well, then - said George.
- Can his football come out to play?
Eddie's father called up to him:
- Eddie, if you don't stop playing that trumpet I think I'll go crazy!
Eddy replied:
- I think you are already, I stopped playing half an hour ago.
- William, I've been told that you have been fighting with the boys next door - said mum.
- Yes, but they're twins, so I wanted some way to tell them apart.
- Mum: How can you practice your trumpet and listen to the radio at the same time?
- Son: Easy. I have two ears!
Dick and Jane were arguing furiously over the breakfast table.
- Oh you're so stupid! - shouted Dick.
- Dick! - said their father.
- That's quite enough of that! Now say you're sorry.
- OK - said Dick.
- Jane, I'm sorry you're stupid.
Ben's dad was building a pine bookshelf and Ben was watching and occasionally helping.
- What are the holes for? - Ben asked.
- They're knot holes - said his dad.
- What are they, then, if they're not holes? - asked Ben.
- Why are you crying, Ted? - asked his mum.
- Because my new sneakers hurt.
- That's because you have put them on the wrong feet.
- But they are the only feet I have.
- Mum: Haven't you finished filling the salt shaker yet?
- Son: Not yet. It's really hard to get the salt through all those little holes!
Young Jimmy was having a snack after school with his Gran.
- Would you like another cookie? - she asked.
- Yes, please - replied Jimmy.
- What good manners you have - said his Gran.
- I do like to hear young people say "please" and "thank you".
- I'll say them both if I can have a big piece of that cake - replied Jimmy!
Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger. Will said:
- Well, you know the Pacific Ocean? My father's the one who dug the hole for it.
Bill wasn't impressed:
- Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea? My father's the one who killed it!
