Kids Jokes

Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone?
→ She thought children should be seen and not herded!

What game do little cows like to play?
→ Moonopoly.

Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him.

- Don't worry, son. Your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy.

The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying, and mother is saying:

- Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new mommies and daddies.

A few days later, the stork's parents are desperate: their son has been absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he's been all night.

The baby stork says:

- No where. Just scaring the hell out of college students!

What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?
→ It was wound up already.

What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?
→ Forty feet of track - all straight!

- Mum, can I have a dog for Christmas?

- No you can have turkey like everyone else!

A schoolteacher was trying to teach her six-year old class students how to say the pledge of allegiance to the flag. The schoolteacher said, O.K. children begin by putting your hand over your little heart and repeat with me, I pledge allegiance to the HOLD IT! HOLD IT! Johnny, why is your hand over your butt cheek instead of your heart? Johnny relied! I can't. Teacher asks, why not? Well you see, when my ant comes over to pick me up and pats my bottom and says, BLESS YOUR LITTLE HEART!!!!!!

Little Johnny's class were on an outing to their local police station where they saw pictures, of the ten most wanted men, tacked to a bulletin board. On the way out of the police station Little Johnny said to the officer, "it was so nice of you to put my daddy's picture up there."

After the baby was baptized, her four-year-old brother was crying inconsolably in the back seat of the car.

- What's the matter Johnny? - asked his concerned mother.

Johnny replied:

- that man said that he hoped our baby would be raised in a good Christian home...

- I just want her to stay with you guys.

A whole family was caught in a small boat during a sudden storm off the shores of Florida, but towed to safety in Fort Lauderdale by the ever alert U.S. Coast Guard.

- I always knew God would take care of us - said the composed five year old daughter of the boat owner after the family got home.

- I like to hear you say that - beamed the mother.

- Always remember that God is in His heaven watching over us.

- Oh, I wasn't talking about THAT God - the five year old interrupted.

- I was talking about the COAST God.