Food Jokes

What kind of food do maths teachers eat?
→ Square meals!

What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school cafeteria?
→ The food!

An American tourist was lunching in a restaurant in China where the specialty was duck. The waiter explained each dish as he brought it to the table. "This is the breast of the duck; this the leg of the duck; this is the wing of the duck; etc."
Then came the dish that the American knew was chicken. He waited for the explanation.
Silence. "Well?" he finally asked, "What's this?" The waiter replied, "It's a friend of duck."

Sign at restaurant reads:
Eat here diet home

A man and his girlfriend were out to dinner one night. The waiter tells them the night's special is chicken almondine and fresh fish.
"The chicken sounds good; I'll have that," the woman says.
The waiter nods. "And the vegetable?" he asks.
"Oh, he'll have the fish," she replies.

What did one plate say to the other plate?
→ Lunch is on me!

- Waiter, waiter, does the pianist play requests?

- Yes, sir.

- Then ask him to play tiddlywinks until I've finished my meal.

There was an awful fight at the seafood restaurant.
Four fish got battered!

The headwaiter of an elegant restaurant recoiled in disgust as a man in boots, torn jeans and a leather jacket approached him. "Hey, man," he said, "where's the toilet?"
"Go down the hall and turn left," replied the headwaiter. "When you see the sign marked 'Gentlemen; pay no attention to it and go right on in."

Young woman sat down in small restaurant, a waitress came over to take her order.
"I'll have a hamburger please."
"Burger!" she yelled over her shoulder. Then woman added.
"Make that well done."
Waitres turned away again.
"Torture it!" she yelled.