Dumb Jokes

How can you tell when a tenor is really stupid?
→ When the other tenors notice.

How can you tell the dumbest actress working on a movie?
→ She's the one sleeping with the writer.

Why is stupid monster like a jack-o'-lantern?
→ They both have empty heads.

What's the difference between a dim monster and a birthday candle?
→ The candle is a thousand times brighter!

What happened to Frankenstein's stupid son?
→ He had so much wax in his ears that he became a permanent contributor to Madame Tussaud's.

At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred dollars.

One of the chamber members stood up and said, "I vote that we donate half of it to the Red Cross and then give the other fifty dollars to the Salvation Army."

What has an IQ of 42?
→ 40 Marines plus their lieutenant

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, "That's not it" and put it down again.

This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army.

The soldier picked it up, smiled and said, "That's it."

At a lesson in topography a soldier was asked: "What is farther away, Harrison, the moon or that object on this map?"
"That object, naturally."
"What makes you think that?"
"'Cause we can see the moon any clear night, and we can't see that object even at day time."

- Doctor! Doctor! I think I'm going crazy. I have a carrot growing out of my ear.

- Amazing! So you have.

- How could that have happened?

- I can't understand it either, because I planted cabbage!