Doctor Jokes

- Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a caterpillar.

- Don't worry, you'll soon change!

- Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a nit.

- Will you get out of my hair!

- Doctor, Doctor, I'm on a diet and it's making me irritable. Yesterday I bit someone's ear off.

- Oh dear, that's a lot of calories!

- Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a moth.

- So why did you come around then?

- Well, I saw this light at the window...!

- Doctor, Doctor, I need something to keep my falling hair in.

- What about a matchbox!

- Doctor, Doctor, I keep seeing an insect spinning around.

- Don't worry, it's just a bug that's going around!

- Doctor, Doctor, I'm a burglar!

- Have you taken anything for it?

- Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a racehorse.

- Take one of these every 4 laps!

- Doctor, Doctor, will this ointment clear up my spots?

- I never make rash promises!

- Doctor, how can I cure my sleep walking?

- Sprinkle tin-tacks on your bedroom floor!