Random joke from this category
A Japanese guy is at Los Angeles International Airport, waiting for his flight back home to Japan. While he's waiting, he goes to the currency exchange counter to change his remaining dollars. He counts his money at the counter.
"Wait a minute," he says to the clerk, "When I came here I got more dollars for my yen. What's going on here?"
"Fluctuations," says the clerk.
The Japanese man stiffens. "Well! Fluck you Americans, too!"
A man has spent many days crossing the desert without water. His camel has died of thirst. He's crawling through the sands, certain that he has breathed his last, when all of a sudden he sees a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.
He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what looks to be an ash tray from an old car.
He opens it and out pops a genie....
But this is no ordinary genie. He is wearing a polka dot bow tie and a plaid sport coat. There's a dog-eared little book in the breast pocket with a blue cover. He has a pencil tucked behind one ear.
"Well, kid," says the genie. "You know how it works. You have three wishes."
"I'm not falling for this," says the man. "I'm not going to trust a used car salesman!"
"What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it looks like you're a goner anyway!"
The man thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is right.
"OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plentiful food and drink."
POOF
The man finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen. And he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.
"OK, kid, what's your second wish."
"My second wish is that I were rich beyond my wildest dreams."
POOF
The Arab finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.
"OK, kid, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!"
After thinking for a few minutes, the Arab says:
"I wish that no matter where I go a beautiful woman will want and need me."
POOF He's turned into a tampon.
The moral of the story?
If a used car salesman offers you anything at no cost, there's going to be a string attached somewhere!
Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stops by his office.
As she walks in unannounced, she finds his secretary sitting on his lap.
Without hesitating, he begins to dictate a letter... "And in conclusion gentlemen, budget cut or not, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."
Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stops by his office.
As she walks in unannounced, she finds his secretary sitting on his lap.
Without hesitating, he begins to dictate a letter... "And in conclusion gentlemen, budget cut or not, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."
A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help.
"If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" he asked her.
The secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings."
Noisy Nights by Constance Norah
The Joys of Horse-riding by Jim Kama
What do blondes eat to increase their breast size?
→ Silicone chips.
Did you hear about the new form of birth control for blondes?
→ They take off their makeup.
What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant with triplets?
→ She went looking for the three guys.
