Dirty Jokes

What's the difference between a penis and a bonus?
→ Your wife will always blow your bonus!

What are the two greatest lies?
→ "The check is in the mail," and "I promise I won't cum in your mouth."

What's so bad about being a dick?
→ Your closest mates are 2 nuts and an ass hole, your master covers you in a plastic bag, And every time you get excited you spew.

What's long, hard, and has semen in it?
→ A submarine!

What's organic dental floss?
→ Pubic hair!

How did Dairy Queen get pregnant?
→ Burger King didn't cover his Whopper.

What happens if you put the Energizer Bunny's batteries in backwards?
→ He keeps coming and coming and coming...

What did the egg say to the boiling water?
→ "It might take me a while to get hard I just got layed last night."

What does KFC and a woman have in common?
→ Once you're done with the breasts and the thighs, there's still a greasy box to put your bone in.

Why did the condom cross the road?
→ Because it was pissed off.