Dirty Jokes

A girl gets a tattoo of Santa Claus on one thigh and a turkey on the other. She wants to show that there is something good to eat in between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

What's the difference between true love and herpes?
→ Herpes lasts forever.

So one sperm says to the other:

- When do we get to the ovaries?

The other replies:

- Ovaries! We're not even past the throat yet!

A man, being on top of a woman, says after a while:

- Honey, your tits are too small, and your box is too tight.

- Get off my back, dear! - she replies.

What's another term for cunnilingus?
→ Genital Slurpees.

Mongo's old lady decided she wanted to do something special to please him on his birthday, so she bought a pair of crotchless panties. That night, as he came into the house, she lay sprawled on the couch spread-eagle.

- Hi hon - she purred sexily.

- Y'all want some of this?

- Hell, no! - he hollered.

- Look at what it's done to your undies!

A Ken and Barbie Joke: Why does Barbie never get pregnant?
→ Because Ken always comes in a box!

What's the difference between condoms and coffins?
→ They both hold something stiff but one's coming and one's going!

What kind of Bees make honey?
→ Honey Bees!

What kind of Bees make Milk?
→ BOOBIES!

Did you hear about the hooker that had her appendix taken out?
→ Now she does business on the side!